sigh i never expected this day to come but i have officially developed quite a fair bit of abhorrence towards my sister

she always makes me the butt of her jokes or the punchline to her endless attempts at ridiculing something/ someone like for example..

(which happened only ten minutes ago in the car)

fyi: i picked my bro up & then her back home

.. your welcome by the way.

Sister: Maurice, you know Aurelien (her boyfriend) asks "Are you sure Maurice is your brother? Why is his nose straighter than yours?"

then she said, "I dont know.. I guess"

"but i should have also said "you haven't seen Sarah"

i dont know whats her point for saying that. I dont see any point to laugh at or to make a joke out of it.. She will poke fun at my eyes (i know single eyelids run in the family but mines the smallest) Im already so openly appalled by my features and yet, she loves rubbing into it.

Not only that, she'll repeatedly remind me of how fat I was or how fat i am

Also, even though im right there.. in the car, she talks to my brother like im not there. WHY????

Im a girl okay. Every girl likes to told she's beautiful & not ugly or fat.. especially by her own sibling. I can cry, no.. actually sob at this. I wish i have an older sibling like Kerri's who is willing to spend time or at least try and get to know me

you know, when i was 14.. I asked her whats JC like & not only did she not answer my question, she looked at me straight in my eyes and told me I was in normal academic

that sucked okay.

And when i proved her wrong by emerging one of the top students for O'levels, she said I took 5 years to achieve that....................

I dont understand why must she beat me up so badly

Maybe im suffering from mid child crisis & am extra sensitive today because its the time of the month

I hate crying alone in my room especially during dinner time because i'll be called out of my room anytime. Maybe i should hide my face in the showers

I really hate myself sometimes

:'(

im feeling sooooo horrribleeeee :'(

I dont understand what i did wrong. Maybe i've always been a bad girl.. a sister she never loved

i hate this i really do :'(

I need to stop crying