Notes

I guess many of us, have been through this passage or process known as Heartbreak.

Relationships with people are complex and delicate things that most cant understand and get them right at the first time.

When someone we love wants to leave us, we choose to feel victimized by the pain of betrayal and lies, and we express these through anger, revenge, guilt, and depression. Worst of all, we feel unattractive and lost.

If we slowly peel away the layers and ask ourselves where the pain is coming from, the root of the problem, lies not the opinion of another person which causes the pain. It is our acceptance of the opinion.

You see, people do not give you love, and they do not take love away from you. We are the ones who choose the degree of flow between ourselves and the other party.

See the picture now?

The misunderstanding lies in the belief of loving in one and only, the idea that love is only real or valid when it is a partnership relationship

This is very limited and downright damaging.

We become tunnel-visioned and grossly restricted in the belief that there is ONLY one person or one love available to us.

Not only do we expect ALL of our love to come from this only person, we also expect that they must love us exclusively and forever, which is impractical and almost seemingly impossible.

Doesnt this show a lot of our selfish nature?

Even though we accept the fact that change is an unavoidable fact of life, but we still insist that love will never change.

We insist on an impossible promise and will eventually lead to self-destruct when the promise is broken.

In the friends scenario, when they move on, we can accept it because we did not have any unrealistic expectations to begin with. We don't take it as a betrayal nor do we interpret it as rejection of ourselves.

This leads us to think about our capability to love.

I believe that a person's ability or inability to love you does not make you any more or any less than you are.

Your value as a lovable and worthwhile person is NOT determined by the opinion of only one other person.

Most important of all, is for you to realise that your supply of love, and your ability to love, is not in the control of another person.

Only love can replenish love, and even if you feel you are faking it at first, it is most important to get back your flow.

Be loving and forgiving to yourself, treat yourself the way your ex-partner should have treated you, and treat yourself the way you wanted to treat your ex-partner.

That way, the pain becomes so much lesser.

Lastly, the love you share with family and friends is more powerful than you think it is.

Allow the love to expand.

Stretch loving moments and share experiences.

Give and take compliments and kindnesses, imbibe beauty and extend pleasure.

Recall your energy to bring it back into yourself. If you really do believe there is only one love for you and you're capable of loving only that one person forever, then remember make that one person YOURSELF.

- Anonymous

(Credits to Deon/ WoanTyng)